This Is Me

Well I’m finally doing it. Yes, finally taking that step. You know the step we all want to take but we get bullied. Some of us don’t let the bully stick around to long but then there’s others, like me, who wake up and have him on speed dial.  He’s the first one you call to make sure he’s going to be with you from the time your feet hit the floor till the time your eyes close at night. I let the bully stick around for years and years and years and well you get the point. I could literally keep that going for the rest of the page. Who is that bully, what is that bully? Fear.

I’m stepping out today and I’ve decided I’m not going to keep fear on speed dial.  It is debilitating and I am tired of not living.  If you are tired of not living or you’ve ever been bullied by fear, if you are stuck, if you feel like you’ve made so many bad decisions you are beyond saving, if you just want to read someone’s crazy life stories who has a sarcastic sense of humor and an absolutely hilarious family, you found your girl.  

I’m Sarah and I’ve been wanting to write to you for quite some time.  I’m 44 going on 45, ugh, mother of one 18 year old son and married to my husband Wyatt for for 21 years.  I am going on 2 years sober August 1st and I’m ready to live.  I have let my fear keep me paralyzed from doing anything but staying in my house for the last 2 years.  I mean I get out, I’m not a hermit but I get out in my front yard.  I might get out to go to church or a family function.  I do go on vacation but on the regular no, I’m in my house.  I don’t work and haven’t for about 3 years and I’ve lost my mojo.  God has been calling me to write and share my story and fear has bullied me and kept me down and told me I’m not good enough and no one wants to hear what I have to say.  People are going to laugh, you’re going to make a fool of yourself.  That’s fear and I can just imagine the devil has been sitting around with his feet propped up smoking a cigar and swinging his red pitch forked tail in a circle enjoying how scared I’ve been.  Enjoying the dialogue that I’ve got going on in my head.  It’s so funny as I sit and write this I am listening to a christian mix station on Spotify.  The song, Fear Is A Liar is on by Zach Williams.    It says “he will take your breath, stop you in your steps…… he will rob your rest, steal your happiness.”  That is so true and so like God to have that playing while I’m writing this.   I don’t believe in coincidence or luck or karma I believe in God.  We do have a will and God can give us a path to follow or a door to go through but it’s up to us to do our part and take action.  Say no to fear and say yes to living.  

I hope you will come back and share my journey, past present and future.  Share in the Wonders of 1 Woman.    You will laugh, cry and rejoice and witness how God has brought me through.  He is still bringing me through. Witness how awesome it is that I’m still here.   We can help each other.  Let’s fight fear together, it’s an every day battle for me.  

Till tommorrow

SarahWonders of 1 Woman

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