Things sure have changed for me in the last month. I seem to spend a majority of my time at Dr.’s appointments or hospitals. I’m sitting in the hospital right now waiting on the Dr. to come tell me that everything went well with my son as he had his tonsils taken out today. There is never a dull moment here. I think I had four hours of sleep last night. Ya know it could be worse.
It can always be worse. I guess that’s what I keep stumbling upon. No matter what your circumstances it can always be worse. We checked into the hospital this morning and signed all the paperwork and went over everything including my portion of the bill. Which was not to bad since I’ve used the heck out of my insurance this year and hit my deductible. JT and I were looking at the total of the procedure and thinking, What if we didn’t have insurance? We wouldn’t be able to afford the procedure. What if we couldn’t pay our portion? We wouldn’t be able to get his tonsils out. Now whether we get JT’s tonsils removed or not is not life threatening. Think about other situations. What if we did not live in a place that affords us the opportunity to have his tonsils removed? What if I could never have gotten the antibiotic the first time JT had strep throat? What if? What if? What if? I could go on and on with the what if’s because there are so many. We are so very blessed and most of the time forget that we are. Your situation can always be worse. How? Do you really want to know?
My Dad was quoting some scripture yesterday just sitting in the living room. One such scripture he mentioned was “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perserverance. Let perserverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1: 2-4. He was kind of talking that through with everything that he’s going through, Is this tumor from God? Is this tumor from Satan? Am I to consider this tumor Joy? Are we to consider our situations sent from God? Are we in them because that’s where he placed us? I certainly don’t consider myself a scholar of the Bible. I haven’t even read the entire thing but I am trying to do that. By the way that still won’t make me a scholar of the Bible. I think each one of us can apply scripture to our lives. There is truth in each scripture. It’s not that it has a different meaning depending on how you read it. I believe it applies differently to your life depending on where you are at in your journey. Does that make sense? Maybe not. Sometimes words in my head don’t make sense on the screen. I think God does place us in the right moment at the right time in order to “fulfill his good purpose.” Phil. 2:13 and “work for the good of those who love him.” Rom. 8:28. I also feel like we well I’ll say me, I have to go about it the hard way. Instead of taking a direct route to where God needs me to be I go around and around the mountain. I can’t remember if I’ve seen that rock before so I take another trip around. But that’s the beauty. Not while you are going through it necessarily. When you get there!! If God wanted us just to get there he would have created robots who could not think and act for themselves. We can, think and act for ourselves, and we fail and we fall and we learn and our faith gets tested and it produces perserverance. That’s when God shows you where he needs you to be when you have matured and you see that rock. You realize you have seen that rock 17 times. If I just would have noticed the grafitti on the right side I would have known I passed that rock 17 times before.
So is my Dad supposed to consider his tumor joy? Am I supposed to consider it joy? All these things that are happening are they from God? My feeling is this, the tumor is not joy, JT’s “faulty” tonsils are not joy. Am I here due to my own choices or because God put me here. I’m here by the grace of God. He brought me through all my terrible choices and he will continue to be a good good father and walk with me through my choices to come. Good, bad, silly and really, are we going to go through that again choices. As hard as it is sometimes I need to remember to consider it pure joy.